Hesitation

I think I am hesitating to play one game in my collection the most out of any of the others.  I have made a lot of headway in my handheld collections on the 3DS and the PSP.  With my PSP I only have 4 games that I need to finish, and I am currently playing one of them now, Star Ocean: First Departure.  When I was trying to figure out which would be next on my PSP from the list I went with Star Ocean because I was timid to play the one game.

Final Fantasy VI.

I think I am worried that a game that I hold as my personal favorite in the entire series won't be as great as I think it is.  I love FFVIII.  I love FFIX and FFVII (thats right, in that order).  But I consider Final Fantasy VI to be the one that hits me right in the heart.

Its the one I first played and stuck with me when I was young.  I rented it over and over again for the SNES (it was FFIII then), just like I did with Mega Man X2.  I did not get that far into it when I was young.  

I tried again when I bought the game as part of the FFV and FFVI collection (Final Fantasy Anthology), yet still I ended up only getting to the same point (which I believe was after the opera house).

I then picked up FFVI on GBA and went farther than I ever had.  I made it maybe 2/3rds of the way through the game, but then put it down.  Not for a specific reason but something in me just wanted to put the game down then and there.  I had the guide and knew exactly what was going on and what I needed to do, yet I just could not commit to it.  I ended up most likely playing Pokemon or something which distracted me more than anything.

Recently after getting a gift card for the Playstation Network I picked up FFVI on the cheap during a sale so I could play on the PS3/PSP.  I have it sitting on my XMB on the PSP right now but I have yet to start it.  I have my guide all ready to go and play it from the beginning, but I just can't push the button.

I am not afraid to play the game from the beginning.  I can't wait for that.  I can't wait for the level grinding and the exploration of such a superb game made almost 20 years ago that it still is listed in the annuals as one of the greatest RPGs and Games of all time.

I am just afraid to live this adventure and not be able to spend the time with Terra, Locke, and company again like the first time.  Its exciting knowing how the book begins and how it goes through the middle, but if you never get to the end you can still revisit things with that same sense of newness each time with the addition of a page here and there.  I don't think I want that to end.  

However we all have to grow up sometime and not be afraid of that which does not hurt us.  So I promise that once I get through Star Ocean: First Departure I will get my life ready to accomplish a feat 20 years in the making.